We won't sleep together?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
she peed on how many people?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
