I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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