a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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