So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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