Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
