PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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