I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
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You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize