I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
