ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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