I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
