Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Come share oat with me in your robe
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize