Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
