Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
