How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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