He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
