Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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