i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
