dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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