I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
