butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
