What did we do last night that was yellow?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Found the puke drawer
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
