yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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