They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
