She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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