you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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