Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
