If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
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you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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