I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
