I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
