I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize