on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
