My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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