If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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