Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
