No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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