That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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