Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
