Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
