when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
