I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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