He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
