guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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