Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize