I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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