so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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