i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
