You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
