Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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