It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
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You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
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I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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