Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Randomize
