How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize