great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
