This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
