my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He shit in the fireplace
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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