Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
