remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
