I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
