Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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