matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Randomize
