are you still at the devil's house?
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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